Archive for the 'Self-Love' Category
Friday, May 2nd, 2008
The longer I practice the art of deliberate creation in my life, the more aware I become of the massive limitations I have placed on myself over the years. You wouldn’t think that beliefs could be so powerful - after all, a belief is just a thought, right?
Actually, it’s a thought that has IMMENSE POWER. The power to mold and shape your life experiences like you wouldn’t believe. You won’t allow yourself to do, be or have anything unless you believe it’s possible.
When I look back over my life, I see an endless series of limiting beliefs that governed every area of my life. My career. My health. My relationships. My finances. My self-worth. My happiness. Sometimes I wish I could travel back in time and whisper to the girl I was, “Hey, you can break free from these dark thoughts - just switch your focus!” She probably wouldn’t listen anyway; she was pretty stubborn. 
Have you ever wished you could go back and do things differently? I often think, “Wow, where would I be today if I’d known how powerful I was years ago?” You’ve probably had similar thoughts about your own life.
Even though we can’t go back and do it over again, we can start fresh right NOW. Imagine ten or twenty years from now, looking back on your life and seeing immense growth and progress. Imagine the joy of knowing that you took control of where you were going and formed your life into a masterpiece of love, happiness, abundance and fulfillment!
Of course, before that can happen, you’ll need to take a good hard look at your limiting beliefs. I’ve been doing this for years and I don’t think I’ll be done any time soon - maybe ever. 
Every time I think I’ve cleared out all the “can’ts, won’ts, and what ifs” a new batch pops up and waves at me and I start the process all over again. The same thing may happen to you, but it’s still a powerful process that is well worth the effort.
To start, ask yourself: How have I been holding myself back? If I could truly create ANYTHING I wanted, what would it be - and why do I believe it’s impossible for me? Which inner voices keep me locked in a cycle of lack, dissatisfaction, turmoil and frustration? And which thoughts would override the limiting beliefs and begin to draw something better into my life?
Then begin choosing those thoughts as often as you can and turning your attention away from the old, limiting beliefs.
Once you get to the root of your limiting beliefs and begin transforming them, you may encounter another type of limiting belief - and for many people this is a doozy: LOW SELF-WORTH.
This belief has a voice too, and it usually repeats monotonously, “I don’t deserve to be wealthy, who am I kidding? Other people have it so much harder than I do, I should be giving everything I own to charity. I’ve got no business whining about not having enough money. When did I become such a wimp? So what if I hate my job and my relationships are falling apart and I have a lot of health problems? I need to stop all this daydreaming and face reality once and for all. This is my lot in life (or my cross to bear, etc).”
But sometimes this voice isn’t so obvious. Sometimes it’s much more subtle, like when it creates an underlying feeling of discomfort when you think about wanting to achieve a greater state of abundance. You may desire more money, bigger income, financial freedom and more - but you will only allow into your life the amount of money you believe you DESERVE.
Likewise for all other life experiences. It doesn’t matter how badly you want something; if you don’t believe you deserve to have it, you simply won’t allow it in. For that reason, it is also beneficial to spend some time exploring what you believe you deserve in all areas of your life.
Do you believe you deserve to be in a truly loving and harmonious relationship? Really? What about money and income? How much do you believe you deserve to have? What about where you live, the type of home and neighborhood you live in? What about your work? Do you believe you must work very hard to make ends meet? Do you feel resentful and disgusted by wealthy people who throw money around carelessly?
All of these thoughts and feelings are CLUES about what is happening within you; the beliefs that rule your life. Once you start exploring them you can easily identify the ones that may be holding you back and transform them - which will change the outer experiences of your life!
The good news is that the more you delve into these limiting beliefs, fears and doubts, the more proficient you will become at weeding them out and exchanging them for something better. Over time you’ll develop a powerful awareness of these “unwelcome houseguests” when they have taken up residence in your mind - and you’ll have the confidence to boot them right out the door!
But your work STILL won’t be done yet. Once you’ve booted out some limiting beliefs, you’ll realize that you were holding limiting beliefs about your limiting beliefs, and limiting beliefs about your ability to boot out limiting beliefs, and limiting beliefs about your perception of your limiting beliefs… You’ll have an ever-increasing awareness that you can still do better, and better and BETTER yet!
Every moment will become a precious journey of evolvement - that will keep leading you to ever higher levels of joy, abundance and awe. It never ends. And you won’t want it to end! Once you release your fear, you realize that this process of evolvement is a whole lot of fun. Sometimes it’s wildly exciting, and sometimes you may get frightened and start thinking about a safe little hole you can hide in for awhile. That’s okay too.
Be gentle with yourself. Move at your own pace. Enjoy the journey. Embrace the unfolding of a better you, a better life, an easier way of BEING. It’s wondrous and breathtaking, and you deserve every bit of it! You deserve to have everything you want. And you can if you just allow yourself to let go and open to it. Open your heart, open your mind, open your arms. Everything you desire is rushing toward you right now - just let it in.
Wendy
CreationThoughts.com
WingsfortheHeart.com
Posted in Beliefs & Expectations, Law of Attraction, Self-Love | No Comments »
Tuesday, February 12th, 2008
Today’s Abe-Hicks daily quote is simple yet oh-so-true!
Appreciation and self-love are the most important tools that you could ever nurture. Appreciation of others, and the appreciation of yourself is the closest vibrational match to your Source Energy of anything that we’ve ever witnessed anywhere in the Universe. Excerpted from a workshop in Spokane, WA on Tuesday, May 30th, 2000
Of course, it’s not always easy to focus on self-love! Here are a few quick tips on ways to love yourself today and beyond:
1) Romance yourself.
Think about the last love affair you had. At the beginning you and your partner probably devoted a lot of time, attention and affection to each other, right? You felt passionate and swept away by the beauty of your partner and he/she probably felt the same about you. One of the best ways to learn to love yourself is to enter into a similar process – with yourself! Treat yourself like royalty! Do things that make you feel happy. Hug yourself. Sweet-talk yourself. Buy yourself nice things. Spend quality time with yourself simply because you deserve it.
2) Explore your existing beliefs.
You may suspect you have old, limiting messages rattling around in your head but still be unsure about what they are exactly. In order to discover the beliefs that are holding you back, you may need to go on an expedition. Begin exploring your existing beliefs by writing in a journal. Give yourself prompts or questions like these:
“My earliest memory of feeling inadequate was . . .”
“My mother always made me feel . . .”
“My father always treated me like . . .”
The idea is to think back to an earlier time in your life and see if you can discover when and where your limiting beliefs got started. Then, challenge those beliefs. Are they still true? Were they ever true? Decide what you WANT to be true, and begin to replace the old belief by focusing more on your new and improved beliefs.
3) Emphasize your good qualities!
When you have low self-esteem, you tend to keep focusing on the things that are “wrong with you,” and dismissing the things that you have going for you. Turn this around by praising and encouraging yourself in your self-talk. When you accomplish something, congratulate yourself! Say things like, “Wow, I’m really proud of myself for doing that. It wasn’t easy, but I pushed through the rough spots and gave it my best shot.” You can also make a point of simply giving yourself positive self-talk daily. Recite affirmations like these: “I am a valuable person. I have a lot to offer the world. I’m talented and successful.” The more you do it, the more you’ll come to believe it!
Wendy
CreationThoughts.com
WingsfortheHeart.com
Posted in Law of Attraction, Self-Love | No Comments »
Wednesday, September 12th, 2007
No matter how much we all want to be liked and accepted, it’s impossible to please everyone all the time.
Have you ever tried? If you’ve got any people-pleasing tendencies, you know the immense pressure that results from them. You run around in circles, walk on eggshells, trying to be everything that everyone expects you to be. And the harder you try to meet everyone’s expectations, the less pleased they seem to be.
The truth is, some people will find fault with you no matter what you do. Even when you can please some of the people some of the time, other people will be complaining and nitpicking about the very same things that make those other people happy!
It’s an exercise in futility. Here’s a novel idea: focus on pleasing YOURSELF.
That doesn’t mean you have to ignore others’ needs. It doesn’t mean you have to become self-centered and selfish. It means you have to follow your heart and do what is right for YOU.
Accomodate people when you can, but don’t try to save anyone. Don’t try to coddle anyone. Don’t try to ingratiate yourself to others because it almost always backfires.
Instead, do the things that make your heart sing. Live each moment with passion and joy - and let go of the little stuff that threatens your inner peace.
When you do this, you’ll automatically attract the people who resonate most deeply with who you are - who you GENUINELY are. You’ll create mutual meaningful bonds; not superficial, conditional ones.
And for those other people, the ones who are always looking for your faults? They’ll find someone else to pick on when they realize you’re turning your focus in a more positive direction.
Wendy
CreationThoughts.com
WingsfortheHeart.com
VisualizeProsperityBook.com
Posted in Happy Thoughts, Power, Self-Love | 1 Comment »
Tuesday, May 16th, 2006
One of my favorite television characters ever was Phoebe Buffay from Friends (played by Lisa Kudrow). She was quirky, feisty, and sometimes downright weird. But she was never afraid to be herself, even though her friends were obviously very different in personality.
How many of us have the courage to do this? I think many of us tend to try to blend in with our friends, rather than stand out. In fact, society in general makes it clear that certain traits are considered acceptable, while others aren’t. If we dare to break from the “norm” and express a unique part of our personality, we get the raised eyebrow — or worse.
But aren’t we cheating others and ourselves by doing that? I happen to believe that each of us is here on this earth for a specific purpose. We have each been given special gifts and traits that no one else has, and we are supposed to be using them in our daily experiences. If we hide these parts of ourselves, we are denying their existence, which is the same thing as refusing a gift.
Even worse, if we are not genuinely ourselves, we end up attracting the wrong people into our lives. While living an illusion, we attract people who buy into our illusion, not us. No valuable connections can be made. We also end up attracting others who are living an illusion, and we end up being two empty illusions trying to create something meaningful. It won’t work.
More than 15 years ago, I decided to stop living an illusion and make an effort to be myself as often as possible. The result was painful in some ways. People that I thought were my friends ended being anything but. In fact, most of the people I associated with at that time abandoned me. Some ties I cut myself. Yes, it hurt. But at the same time, I realized that the “purging” was necessary in order to make room for more genuine relationships. I enjoyed a few years of solitude which I devoted mostly to personal development. I knew I needed to get to know myself fully before anyone else could.
And it paid off in so many ways. I have true friends now. Friends that know my quirks, and love me despite them. Even some friends that are kind of quirky themselves. Interestingly, I have LESS friends now than I did years ago. But they are better friends than the old ones were. I’ve chosen quality over quantity this time around. My friends really “get” me most of the time, and I’m okay with it when they don’t.
I learned something important from this experience. We don’t all have to be the same. In fact, it’s better if we’re NOT. What a boring world it would be if we were identical in our personalities, likes, dislikes, beliefs, and convictions. While it’s usually good to have similarities so we have something in common, we can also learn to celebrate that which makes us different. Different is good. Different is interesting. Different is meaningful.
Thanks Phoebe, for the reminder.
Wendy
CreationThoughts.com
WingsfortheHeart.com
VisualizeProsperityBook.com
Posted in Personal Development, Self-Love | No Comments »
Sunday, March 26th, 2006
Inevitably in life, we will face disapproval or rejection from others. It might be a family member, friend, employer, or even a stranger. They might disagree with the way we live our lives, the decisions we make for ourselves, or even who we are. They might belittle our dreams, criticize our goals, or make hurtful comments that reveal a low opinion of us. These experiences can be quite painful, because we all want to be liked and accepted. We all want to be supported and nurtured and loved by those around us.
Being rejected or ridiculed by others (especially if it’s a frequent occurrence) can cause us to question our own self-worth and value as a person. We begin to wonder if maybe they’re right. Maybe we’re not lovable enough, or talented enough, or “good” enough to be accepted. Following this line of thought for any length of time can be incredibly damaging to our self-confidence.
While it’s normal to have a few moments of uncertainty when we are rejected, the worst thing we can do is internalize the negativity we recieve from others. Just because someone has a low opinion of us does not mean we have to accept it as our truth. They can only come to their conclusions by looking at us from the outside. They don’t feel our feelings, think our thoughts, or experience the things we have in our lives. They are seeing us from a completely different perspective than our own.
To complicate matters even further, their own life experiences, thoughts, and feelings can easily be projected onto us, so they may see something that doesn’t truly exist, except in their own mind.
So, how do we overcome this? How do we avoid letting other people’s negativity erode our belief in ourselves? There are three major points to keep in mind:
1) Reinforcement = Strength. Think of positive thoughts as the antidote to any negativity that comes your way. Feed your mind empowering, positive thoughts daily, preferably several times a day - and most especially after you encounter negativity from another. The stronger you can build up your belief in yourself, the less you will care about others who insult you, ridicule you, or reject you. You won’t be looking to others for your sense of validation or approval, because you will already have your OWN approval.
2) Conserve Your Energy. While it might be tempting to try to explain, defend, or prove yourself to someone who rejects you, this is usually a waste of your time and energy. Once someone forms an opinion of you, they are unlikely to change it. The more you try to change their minds, the more stubbornly they will dig their heels in and resist. So, simply release your need to prove yourself and accept that they are entitled to their opinions. Their comments and opinions cannot detract from your belief in yourself, unless you allow them to.
3) Limit Your Exposure. Once a person reveals their negative opinion or directs hurtful comments your way, you might want to avoid spending excessive time with them in the future. This becomes more difficult if it is a family member that you can’t just shut out of your life completely. But you can still set boundaries and limit the amount of time you are faced with negativity.
Finally, remember that no one else can define you, or live your life for you, or take away the beauty and uniqueness that is you. They may try, but they won’t be successful unless you allow it.
If you instead choose to turn away from the negativity and focus on building a solid foundation of belief in yourself, the negative comments will cease to matter to you. You will go on to create a fulfilling, successful life that reflects exactly who you are, regardless of what others say or do.
Wendy
CreationThoughts.com
WingsfortheHeart.com
VisualizeProsperityBook.com
Posted in Positive Thinking, Self-Love | No Comments »
Friday, January 27th, 2006
Do you practice unconditional love for yourself?
It always amazes me how hard we are on ourselves. We would move mountains to care for our loved ones and friends. We nurture them, encourage them, comfort them, and listen to them.
But when it comes to ourselves, we turn into drill sergeants. We push ourselves, berate ourselves, belittle ourselves.
No wonder some of us have such a poor self-image. Imagine what your loved ones would be like if you constantly beat them down and treated them like dirt.
If we were to treat ourselves like the most important people in the world, everything would change. If we learned how to comfort and nurture ourselves, encourage and inspire ourselves, and love ourselves unconditionally - our entire outlook on life would improve.
I’ve been a witness to the amazing power of unconditional love. I know what it can do. Love isn’t just an emotion, it’s actually a powerful FORCE that can transform almost anything.
Imagine if we used a little of this amazing power to heal ourselves? I think we would finally see ourselves the way God does - as perfect, beautiful creations.
Wendy
CreationThoughts.com
WingsfortheHeart.com
VisualizeProsperityBook.com
Posted in Self-Love | No Comments »
